I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize