The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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