i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
