I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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