she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
