I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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