Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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