I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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