a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
