I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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