trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
that's an acceptable place to lick
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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