even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize