yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
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Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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