I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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