I murdered the dance floor call the cops
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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