I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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