Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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