I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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