Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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