cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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