Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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