he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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