i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize