yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
