Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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