You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
