New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
