True but thats because hes a fetus.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
