so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize