Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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