on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
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Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
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I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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