Kiss
Puke
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
