I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
