but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
