I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
