i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
