i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
