Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
