she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize