he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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