I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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