I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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