Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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