Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I believe in your delicious
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
