this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
