Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
