youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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