YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
