Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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