i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
