i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dear god my vagina.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
