check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
