you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
