I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
