hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Hippo gnu deer
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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