i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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