need another drink. this is the easiest way
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
