So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
