Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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