I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize