Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
